I've Been On The Whisky

A Man Walks Into A Bar, And He Said Ouch, Cause It Was An Iron Bar.

So I Went To The Doctor's Yesterday. He Said, "what Appears To Be The Problem?" I Said, "i Keep Having This Dream, Night After Night, Beautiful Girls Rushing Towards Me And I Keep Pushing Them Away." He Said, "how Can I Help?" I Said: "break My Arms."

A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A Bowl Of Muesli. A Strong Currant Pulled Him In.

I Bought Some Hp Sauce The Other Day. It's Costing Me 6p A Month For The Next 2 Years.

I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten To One. It Came In At Quarter Past Four.