I Told My Mother-in-law That

Elizabeth Taylor's So Fat She Puts Mayonnaise On Aspirin.

Life Goes By Fast. Enjoy It. Calm Down. It's All Funny.

I Was Getting Dressed And A Peeping Tom Looked In The Window, Took A Look And Pulled Down The Shade.

If God Wanted Us To Bend Over He'd Put Diamonds On The Floor.

Don't Follow Any Advice, No Matter How Good, Until You Feel As Deeply In Your Spirit As You Think In Your Mind That The Counsel Is Wise.