I Told My Doctor I

My Wife And I Have Olympic Sex. Once Every Four Years.

I Was So Ugly My Parents Had To Hang A Pork Chop Around My Neck To Get The Dog To Play With Me.

I Shouldn't Tell Jokes About My Wife. She's Attached To A Machine That Keeps Her Alive... The Refrigerator.

My Son's An Idiot. He Sprained His Ankle Playing Golf. He Fell Off The Ballwasher.

Last Year My Birthday Cake Looked Like A Prairie Fire.