I Think Vacations Are Mostly

A Chef Who Doesn't Wash His Hands Is Like A Cop Who Steals. It's A Cry For Help.

The Toughest Nights When I Was A Young, Unknown Comedian Were Opening For These Real Old-time Italian Singers. I'm Like Grace Jones To Them. "this Guy Is Nuts-talking About Socks. Where's The Wife Jokes, Where's The Fat Jokes?"

Women Go After Doctors Like Men Go After Models. They Want Someone With Knowledge Of The Body. We Just Want The Body.

Anyone Who Would Laugh At A Recital Is Probably Some Sort Of Lunatic Anyway. I Mean, Only A Sick, Twisted Mind Could Be That Rude And Ignorant.

Everybody In New York City Knows There's Way More Cars Than Parking Spaces. You See Cars Driving In New York All Hours Of The Night. Its Like Musical Chairs Except Everybody Sat Down Around 1964.