I Think That Celebrities Are

When I Do A 30-minute Meal, For Instance, On Food Network, That's My Food You See At The End Of The Show And It's Not Perfect. And If Sometimes Things Break Or Drop Or The Pasta Hits The Wall When I'm Draining It, They Never Stop Tape. They Just Kind Of Let Me Go With It.

My Mom Said The Two Most Important Kitchen Utensils Are Attached To Your Arms... You Cannot Mix Up Meatballs With A Wooden Spoon, Get In There, Get Your Fingers Dirty!

I'm Completely Unqualified For Any Job I've Ever Had.

My Husband Cooks Fancier Food For Himself Than I've Ever Cooked On-air. I Call Him From The Road, And He's Making Champagne-vanilla Salmon Or Black-cherry Pork Chop. Half Of Me Is Feeling Unworthy. Not Only Am I Not A Chef, I'm Not A Better Cook Than My Own Husband!

I Don't Have To Write Jokes. I Don't Have To Write Insults. If You Ask The Man Of The Hour In The Hot Seat, My Mere Existence Is Clearly Insult Enough.