I Think People Hate Me

There Is Something About The Human Condition. I Don't Think Dogs Are Like "if Only I Was A Poodle Instead Of A Golden Retriever, I'd Be Totally Happy." Dogs Are Happy With Who They Are.

I'm Very Introverted, So It Requires A Huge Effort For Me To Put On A Smile And Extend A Hand And Accept Compliments. I Would Much Rather Be Insulted Than Complimented Any Day.

I'm Trying To Teach My Children Not To Cry. That's The Big Thing. No Crying. Because I Think We Can All Agree That Crying Is, For The Most Part, For Sissies. If My Team Loses, I'm Going To Cry. And I'm Going To Want My Kids To See Me Crying. Not Because I Think Sports Are So Important, But Because I Bet So Much Money On The Game That We'll Probably Lose The House If My Team Doesn't Win. That's Something To Cry About.

My Process Is Surprisingly Straightforward. I Find Myself With Little To Do Over A Stretch Of Time And I Say, "i Should Write Children's Books Today." Then I Sit Down And Write A Children's Book, And If It Takes More Than, Realistically, Three Hours, I Feel Like I've Done Something Wrong.

Hosting A Game Show Is So Bizarre And Uniquely Its Own Thing. Anytime I'm Hosting Something, I Try To Bring As Much Of Myself To It As I Can, But It's Always Going To Be Incomplete.