I Think My Wife Is

I Don't Get No Respect, No Respect At All!

A Sense Of Humor Is Rare. It Isn't Telling A Joke About How There Are Three Ways To Get To Heaven. It's Being In A Restaurant And Hearing Someone Say, Everyone's Got Their Tale Of Woe, And Then Turning Around And Saying, Unfortunately, In Life, There's More Woe Than Tail.

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

With Sex My Wife Thinks Twice Before She Turns Me Down. Yeah, Once In The Morning And Once At Night.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly That She Was Known As A Two-bagger. That's When You Put A Bag Over Your Head In Case The Bag Over Her Head Breaks.