I Tell Ya When I

I Tell Ya, I Knew My Morning Wasn't Going Right. When I Put On My Shirt The Button Fell Off, When I Picked Up My Briefcase, The Handle Fell Off, I Tell Ya, I Was Afraid To Go To The Bathroom.

I Stuck My Head Out The Window And Got Arrested For Mooning.

I Told My Dentist I Want A Tooth To Match The Others. He Gave My One With Four Cavities.

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.

If It Wasn't For Pick-pockets I'd Have No Sex Life At All.