I Tell Very Mean Jokes.

I Hated My Mom For Not Letting Me Play Football As A Kid. So When I Have Kids Someday, I Guarantee They'll Never Meet Their Grandmother.

I'm Very Arrogant And Mean. I'm Almost Like A Bad Guy Professional Wrestler.

I'm Inspired By Making People Laugh At Subjects That Should Make Them Cry.

It Seemed Fun To Play A Villain On Stage And I Wanted My Jokes To Be So Good That I Could Just Calmly Tell Them On Stage.

I Got An Email From My Ex, Telling Me That She Has Aids. I Didn't Know How To Comfort Her, So I Just Wrote Back I Know.