I Teach Sunday School, Motherf*****.

Senator John Kyle Claiming That Over 90 Percent Of What Planned Parenthood Does Is Abortion. Stephen Colbert: Over 90 Percent, That Is Unbelievable...in That It Is Not True. Only 3 Percent Of What Planned Parenthood Does Is Abortion. Kyle Just Rounded It Up To The Nearest 90.

I'm Off For Two Weeks, So Until I Get Back, Take The Characters In This Tweet And Parcel Them Out One Per Day. Use This Q Wisely.

Twenty-two Astronauts Were Born In Ohio. What Is It About Your State That Makes People Want To Flee The Earth?" - Stephen Colbert To Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones, "the Colbert Report," November 3, 2005

Hey, Single Malt Scotch, Youre Thirty Years Old. When Are You Going To Settle Down And Get Married To My Stomach?

With Late Night Show I Can Begin The Search For The Real Stephen Colbert.i Just Hope I Don't Find Him On Ashley Madison.