I Scream, You Scream, We

Last Night Was Super Tuesday - A 10-state Gop Primary Orgy. A Big, Sweaty Pile Of Lever-yankin Republican Voters. And Like Most Orgies, It Involves A Bunch Of Middle Aged Guys Who Are Not Appealing To Women.

I Don't Get Why The Government Is The Only One That Gets To Print Money.

...why Were You Happier When You Were A Kid? Because You Didn't Know Anything. The More You Know, The Sadder You Get.

The Shamrock Is A Religious Symbol. St. Patrick Said The Leaves Represented The Trinity: The Father, The Son And The Holy Spirit. That's Why Four Leaf Clovers Are So Lucky, You Get A Bonus Jesus.

I've Been Accused Of Being Unambitious, But What I Do Takes Up Every Minute. I'm Executive Producer, I'm A Writer And The Host.