...why Were You Happier When

There's Nothing More I Love Than Mcdonald's Dollar Menu. With Just The Change I Find Between My Couch Cushions, I Can Eat Something With The Nutritional Value Of A Couch Cushion.

Even The Weather Page Is In A State Of Moral Decay. What?s Wrong With Red, White And Blue, Usa Today? This Rainbow Weather Map Is Just Another Example Of The Homometerological Agenda.

And We Didn't Have Cell Phones. If You Made Plans To Meet Someone In A Snow Storm, And They Didn't Show Up, You Just Had To Assume They Were Devoured By Wolves And Go On With Your Life.

I'm Proud Of My Ability To Understand What Somebody Else Is Trying To Do And Help Them Achieve It, Because Part Of The Aesthetic Of Improvisation Is Service. We Don't Lead, We Only Follow. You Never Say No. Serve The Servant, Follow The Follower. And That's Very Valuable In Your Life, As Well As Very Valuable In Your Work.

So, If I'm No Cheerleader Of Sports, Why Write A Chapter About It? Sports Do Have Some Positive Impact On Society. They Solve Problems, Such As How To Get Inner-city Kids To Spend $175 On Shoes. They Serve As A Backdrop For Some Of Our Most Memorable Commercials. And They Remain The One And Only Relevant Application Of Math. Not Only That, But We Have Sports To Thank For Most Of The Last Century's Advances In Manliness. The System Starts In School, Where Gym Class Separates The Men From The Boys. Then Those Men Are Taught To Be Winners, Or At Least, Losers That Hate Themselves.