I Ordered A Wake-up Call

It's Funny: When People Always Talk About The Importance Of Role Models, I Used To Think That Was So Exaggerated, But As I Get Older, I Start To Realize I Don't Feel That Way So Much Anymore. If You See Somebody Like You Who's Doing Something, An Older Version Of What You Are, It Does Make You Feel Like It's More Possible.

I Noticed That There Are No B Batteries. I Think That's To Avoid Confusion, Cause If There Were You Wouldn't Know If Someone Was Stuttering. 'yes, Hello I'd Like Some B-batteries.' 'what Kind?' 'b-batteries.' 'what Kind?' 'b-batteries!' And D-batteries That's Hard For Foreigners. 'yes, I Would Like De Batteries.'

I Saw A Door That Said Exit Only. So I Entered Through It And Went Up To The Guy Working There And Said "i Have Good News. You Have Severely Underestimated That Door Over There. By Like A Hundred Percent."

My Friend Says Touche Way Too Much. He's A Touche Bag.

I Set A Personal Record On Christmas. I Got My Shopping Done Three Weeks Ahead Of Time. I Had All The Presents Back At My Apartment, I Was Halfway Through Wrapping Them, And I Realized, 'damn, I Used The Wrong Wrapping Paper.' The Paper I Used Said, 'happy Birthday.' I Didn't Want To Waste It, So I Just Wrote 'jesus' On It.