I Only Do Two Things

I Get In Fewer Arguments When I'm Alone.

If Only Someone Would Do For Cows What Bambi Did For Deer. Cows Have Been In Films, But They Haven't Starred. I'm Still Willing To Eat A Species That Is Only A Supporting Player.

Gay Republicans, How Exactly Does That Work? 'we Disapprove Of Our Own Lifestyle. We Beat Ourselves Up In Parking Lots.

I'm Really More Prolific Than Most Stand-ups. My Act Changes. I Do Fold In New Experiences, New Observations, Whatever You Want To Call It.

I'm Thankful For The Three Ounce Ziploc Bag, So That I Have Somewhere To Put My Savings.