I'm Very Harsh On Real

The Phrase 'i Just Turn On My Monkey And It Makes Me Feel Good' Sounds Very Dirty, But I Can't Explain Why. It's Great To Try To Use Expressions Like That On The Comics Page. People Want To Complain But They Can't, Because They Can't Figure Out Quite What They Should Be Complaining About.

I Seem To Be Able To Get Away With Pun Strips If I Add A Panel At The End Where I Somehow Indicate That I Know It's A Bad Pun.

When I Was At The University Of California At Berkeley, I Went To Some Classes That Must Have Had More Than Four Hundred Students In Them. I Almost Always Sat In The Far Back Of The Auditorium So I Could Read The Newspaper. I Remember That I Stayed Late One Day To Ask The Professor A Question, And When I Got Up To Him, All I Could Think To Myself Was, 'so This Is What The Professor Looks Like.

Repeats Are The Absolute Soul-crushing Killers Of The Comics Page.

Whenever I See People With Their Collars Up, I'm Tempted To Point It Out To Them Like You Would For Someone Who Has A Food Stain On Their Shirt Or Food In Their Teeth, As If To Say, 'your Fashion Sense Is So Offensive I'm Assuming It's Some Sort Of Accident You'll Want To Fix.