I'm Sorry, I Just Did

I Mean, If We're Regulating Cigarettes And Sex And Cuss Words, Because Of The Effect They Have On Our Younger Generation, Why Aren't We Regulating Things Like Calling People Fat?

I Can't Hear Myself. I Can Stare At My Double Chin All I Want, But Hearing This Androgynous Voice, You Can't Even Tell What Sex I Am.

My Publicist Told Me That A Magazine Was Going To Say I Was Having A Thing With Either Sam Claflin Or Bradley Cooper, And I Got To Choose. And I Chose Bradley Cooper Because I Love Sam's Fiancée So Much. Sam Is So Sweet. So Sweet That He's Almost Not Hot Anymore.

Well, At Least I Had On Underwear

"our First Conversation Was On The Phone. I Was In The Bathtub, And I Had To Tell Him That I Was In The Bathtub Because I Was Afraid He Would Think I Was, Like, Playing In The Toilet When He Heard Water Swishing Around. [...] Then We Had Breakfast In Santa Monica, And I Spit Egg Inside Of His Mouth When I Was Talking.