I'm Not A Movie Star

The First Time I Saw My Wife, Marjorie, I Was Doing Stand-up In Memphis, And She Was Sitting In The Front Row. Afterward, I Walked Up And Said, "ma'am, I'm Going To Marry You One Day". And 15 Years Later, I Did.

Men Respect Women Who Have Standards - Get Some!

Let Him Treat You Like A Lady And Open The Car Door For You. If He Doesn't Automatically Open The Door For You, Stand By The Darn Thing And Don't Get Into The Vehicle Until He Realises He Needs To Get Hid Behind Out Of The Driver's Seat And Come Round And Open The Car Door For You. That's His Job!

I Don't Have 'the Jerry Springer Show'. I Just Got 'family Feud', But Some Of Them Families, When They Lose, Man, They Have Some Real Conversations With Each Other Back Behind That Wall, But I've Never Been Involved In Any Of Them.

I Have Seen Some Crazy People Do Some Crazy Things On My Variety Show. I Have To Stop And Ask Them A Lot Of The Time, Just How They Figured Out That They Could Do The Things That They Do, Some Of It Is Just Plain Freaky.