I'm Bald, Blind And Pale.

I Feel Like, Even In This Crazy World Of Trump Getting Elected And These Things That Really Kind Of Caught Me Off-guard, I Feel Like I Understand Less Than I Did.

I Only Dated One Asian Girl, But She Was Very Asian. She Was A Panda.

I Was Able To Make The Jump To Theaters Without Having A Tv Show. My Passion For Getting A Tv Show Just Plummeted. It Was Like I Had Already Achieved What I Wanted To Achieve.

Stand-up Used To Be Much More Of A Form Combat. Heckling Was Much More Common [in The '90s]. And I Couldn't Get Stage Time, And So I Would Go Out To Pip's In Sheepshead Bay.

Hey, People Who Travel With Their Bed Pillow. You Look Insane.