I Only Dated One Asian

Ever Eat So Much You Feel Sick? Isn't That The Best?

I Love The Impatience Of New York... You Ever Had Somebody Not Ask You For Directions, But Demand Them? You're Just Innocently Walking Down The Street, You Hear A Horn, All Of A Sudden Some Guy's Like, 'holland Tunnel!!!' ...you Know, Like You Were Supposed To Fax This Guy Directions. Suddenly, You're Wasting His Time.

I'd Really Like To Promote My Increasing Consumption Of Bacon.

Stand-up Is So Rewarding, And I Enjoy The Acting Opportunities I've Had, But The Only Time I Really Feel Bad Is When I Feel Like I Have This Manufactured Belief That I Should Be Doing Something Else Or There Should Be Some Type Of Recognition. On An Intellectual Level, I Know It's Stupid.

I Feel Like, Even In This Crazy World Of Trump Getting Elected And These Things That Really Kind Of Caught Me Off-guard, I Feel Like I Understand Less Than I Did.