I'm An Armchair Kind Of

The History Of The Relationship Between Comedy And Swimming Is Short Indeed. Of Course It Is Always Funny When Someone Falls Into Water, But That's About It.

Listening To Chris Moyles On Radio 1 Is The Most Miserable Thing Any Human Being Can Do, But Attending Awards Ceremonies Isn't Far Behind.

The Real Change That Paintings Undergo Is In The Perceptions Of The Viewer.

Ninety-eight Per Cent Of Laughter Is Nothing To Do With Jokes, Which Do Not Deserve To Bear The Weight Of All The Funny Stuff In The World.

I See My Large Nose, Like Half An Avocado. I Broke It Falling Downstairs When I Was Six, And It Now Resembles A Large Blob Of Play-dough.