I Like To Write A

Tv's Not The Same Buzz. If Someone Tells You Three Million People Watched The Show Last Week, That's Good But, When You Walk Out In Front Of 1,000, You Think, 'oh My God, This Had Better Be Good'.

When I Was A Kid I Had An Imaginary Friend And I Used To Think That He Went Everywhere With Me, And That I Could Talk To Him And That He Could Hear Me, And That He Could Grant Me Wishes And Stuff. And Then I Grew Up, And I Stopped Going To Church.

My Father Always Used To Say, "what Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger," - 'til The Accident.

Once I Was Doing A Sponsored Walk. In The End I Managed To Raise So Much Money, I Could Afford A Taxi.

A Surprising Amount Of My Jokes Sound Very Implausible But Are True.