I Like My Parents But

I Don't Think I've Ever Seen Pie Advertised. That's How You Know It's Good. They Advertise Ice Cream And Other Desserts. They Advertise The Bejeeezus Out Of Yogurt, But I Haven't Seen One Pie Commercial.

My First Car Was A Motorcycle.

If Women Built The Bridges Or Were Meant To Build The Bridges, Then They Would Have Done It.

Rich People Don't Pay Taxes? Of Course They Pay Taxes - They Pay Tons In Taxes. They Pay For Everyone Else Who Doesn't Pay Taxes.

As I Said In My Last Book, Birds Are Mean. They're The Only Pet That, When They Escape, The Owners Are Relieved. You Can Tell A Species Is Evil By Doing This Simple Math. If My Blond Lab Molly Was The Size Of T-rex, That Would Just Mean More Kibble, More Work For The Gardener In The Backyard, And A Harder Time Moving Her To My Wife's Side Of The Bed At Night. If Birds Were The Size Of A T-rex, The Streets Would Be Littered With Human Remains.