I Like Champagne Because It

This Is What Makes Me Happy: ...any Music-free Restaurant ... A Grandson Who Offers To Clean The Snow Off My Driveway And Also Fix My Computer ... An Evening In Bed With A Good Book. ... A Good Night's Sleep ... As You Can See, It Doesn't Take Much To Make Me Happy.

I Didn't Go On Dialysis Because I Was 81 Years Old And I'd Done Everything I Wanted, Or So I Thought.

I Don't Know Whether This Is The Best Of Times Or The Worst Of Times, But I Assure You It's The Only Time You've Got. You Can Either Sit On Your Expletive Deleted Or Pick A Daisy.

As My Good Friend Al Capp Told Me A Few Years Ago, The Best Thing To Do With A Confirmed [hotel] Reservation Slip When You Have No Room Is To Spread It Out On The Sidewalk In Front Of The Hotel And Go To Sleep On It. You'll Either Embarrass The Hotel Into Giving You A Room Or You'll Be Hauled Off To The Local Jug, Where At Least You'll Have A Roof Over Your Head.

It Was A Dangerous Profession I Had Chosen ... Because No One Likes A Funny Kid. In Fact, Adults Are Scared Silly Of Them And Tend To Warn Children Who Act Out That They Are Going To Wind Up In Prison Or Worse. It Is Only When You Grow Up That They Pay You Vast Sums Of Money To Make Them Laugh.