I Like Birthdays. Every Time

Drunken Behavior Will Not Be Tolerated, Except By Those Who Are Being Hilarious.

The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways. Indeed. And A Shorter Way To Say That Is: God Is A Sneak.

It Turns Out Dentists Don't Like It Very Much When You Show Up For A Cleaning In Full Vampire Gear.

I Bought A New Pair Of Pajamas With Pockets, Which Is Great, Cause Now I Don't Have To Hold Things When I Sleep.

If Only Loud People Were Even Half As Interesting As They Think They Are.