I Know My Face Is

Reciting Lines Is Hard; Making Stuff Up Is Much, Much Easier.

A Good Stand-up, You Lead The Audience. You Don't Kowtow To The Audience. Sometimes The Audience Is Wrong. I Always Think The Audience Is Wrong.

I Once Walked In On My Grandparents Making Love...and That's Why I Don't Eat Raisins.

I Was Just Thinking How Unfortunate It'd Be To Be A Fat Girl Named Candy.

When You Look Like I Do Its Hard To Get A Table For One At Chucky Cheese.