I Just Wanted Laughs -

I Never Thought For A Second That Anything I Ever Did Was Going To Make Someone Cringe. That Never Occurred To Me.

Even Back Then, I Exuded Self-confidence, And That Drives Women Crazy.

I Learned The First Night That Ihop's Not The Place To Order Fish.

You Know, When You Do Standup There Are Certain Requirements That You Have To Do Like You Have To Go On Stage And When You Get Introduced You Have To Say "hey,how Ya Doin'? How Are Ya?" I Couldn't Do It. It Was False.

You Have To Discover When You're Inadequate To Be Funny And You Don't Know You're Inadequate When You're A Kid.