I Haven't Seen Anyone Rely

Even The Best Psychiatrist Is Like A Blindfolded Auto Mechanic Poking Around Under Your Hood With A Giant Foam "we're #1" Finger.

If Somebody Wants To Shoot Up And Die In Front Of You, More Power To Them. The Herd Has A Way Of Thinning Itself Out.

I Still Feel Pangs Of Remorse Over An Insidious Habit I've Had Since I Was A Teenager. About Three Times A Week, I Attend Estate Auctions And Make Insulting, Low-ball Bids For Prized Heirlooms Until I'm Asked To Leave.

A New Poll Shows That Senator Kerry's Support In The South Is Strongest Amongst Blacks. Kerry's Appeal To Southern Blacks Is Obvious. He Is A White Man Who Lives Far, Far Away.

So Who's The Big Red Menace Nowadays? Cuba. That's It? I'm Sorry, But It's Hard To Whip Up Any Us Against Them Nationalist Fervor About A Country Whose Principal Export Is Citizens Who Can Swim.