I Haven't Had This Much

So I Had This Problem -- Work Or Starve. So I Thought I'd Combine The Two And Decided To Become A Writer.

Everything In This Business Makes Sense, Because It Serves A Real Purpose, Fills A Need That's A Part Of Living. Even A Single Nail, Like This One, Fulfills A Function. Drive It Into A Crucial Place And You Can Depend On It To Do A Job, Keep On Doing It For A Hundred Years To Come. Long After We're Dead And Gone, Both Of Us.

Friendship Is Like Peeing On Yourself: Everyone Can See It, But Only You Get The Warm Feeling That It Brings.

Mothers Sometimes Are Overly Possessive, But Not All Children Allow Themselves To Be Possessed.

Despite My Ghoulish Reputation, I Really Have The Heart Of A Small Boy. I Keep It In A Jar On My Desk.