I Have Crushes On Celebrities

Every Actor Pretends That They Hate Sex Scenes, And The Truth Is That They All Love Them, And They're Lying.

In High School, I Had Fun In My Academic Clubs, Watching Movies With My Girlfriends, Learning Latin, Having Long, Protracted, Unrequited Crushes On Older Guys Who Didn’t Know Me, And Yes, Hanging Out With My Family. I Liked Hanging Out With My Family! Later, When You’re Grown Up, You Realize You Never Get To Hang Out With Your Family. You Pretty Much Have Only Eighteen Years To Spend With Them Full Time, And That’s It.

I Don't Ever Remember Being Able To Debate With My Parents. Even Though I Thought Of Myself As A Very Bright Kid, I Couldn't Be Vocal In That Way.

When Men Hear Women Want A Commitment, They Think It Means Commitment To A Romantic Relationship, But That's Not It. It's A Commitment To Not Floating Around Anymore. I Want A Guy Who Is Entrenched In His Own Life. Entrenched Is Awesome.

Later, When You're Grown Up, You Realize You Never Really Get To Hang Out With Your Family. You Pretty Much Have Only Eighteen Years To Spend With Them Full Time, And That's It.