I Have A Very Warm

If I Were The Last Person On Earth, Some Moron Would Turn Left In Front Of Me.

God And The Universe Said To Me One Day, "you're Only Going To Get What's Good For You." That's Kind Of How I Try To Look At Things. Isn't That True, When You Look Back At Things? "ooh, I'm Glad I Didn't Get That!" You Get More Philosophical When You Get Older, With The More Life Experiences You Have. But I Don't Have Any Bad Feelings Towards Anybody That Was Ever Involved In Any Of That Stuff, Because I Don't Think That People Usually Set Out To Hurt You. I Think That Hurt Is All Manufactured By Yourself And Your Expectations.

I Could Be An Alternative Comic. I Could Be That Really Dark - I Was - I Was A Very Dark Comic To Begin With. I Could Be That Guy, And The Only Reason I Didn't Is That I Wanted To Make Money. I Wanted To Be Popular. I Wanted To Be Liked More Than I Wanted To Be Admired.

Real People Are Good And Grumpy. They're Nice And Mean. And I Come From A Nice And Mean Family. My Mom Was Nice, And My Dad Was Mean. So I Would've Served Myself A Lot Better If Louie Lundgren Would've Blown Up At Some Of The People He Was Talking To. I Think It Would've Really Served Everybody Better. We'd Probably Still Be On The Air!

I'm Still Working! I Think Of All The Other Comics That Didn't Get The Light Shined On Them, Just Because It's Just How Fame Works, And It's Unfortunate. But There Are So Many Great Comics Out There Who Are Still Working, And I Still See Them.