I Have A Poor Memory

You Can't Trust Water: Even A Straight Stick Turns Crooked In It.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

I Could Juggle Anything In My Day. Balls, Cigar Boxes, Knives...but There Was One Thing I Could Never Juggle. My Income Tax.

My Daughter Wants To Throw A Stone At A Bad Man. I Stop Her From Throwing, Shaking My Head And Giving Her A Little Slap. My Disapproval Is Complete. You Think: 'that's Right, She Shouldn't Throw A Stone Even At A Villain.' Then I Hand Her A Brick To Throw.

I've Never Hit A Woman In My Life. Not Even My Own Mother.