I Have A Nice House.

And Quit Bringing Up Our Forefathers And Saying They Were Civil Libertarians. Our Founding Fathers Would Have Never Tolerated Any Of This Crap. For God's Sake, They Were Blowing Peoples' Heads Off Because They Put A Tax On Their Breakfast Beverage. And It Wasn't Even Coffee.

In Regards To Oral Roberts' Claim That God Told Him That He Would Die Unless He Received $20 Million By March, God's Lawyers Have Stated That Their Client Has Not Spoken With Roberts For Several Years. Off The Record, God Has Stated That 'if I Had Wanted To Ice The Little Toad, I Would Have Done It A Long Time Ago.

Even The Best Psychiatrist Is Like A Blindfolded Auto Mechanic Poking Around Under Your Hood With A Giant Foam "we're #1" Finger.

Nowadays, With History Not Being Taught Anymore In American Public Schools, Self-esteem Is Taking Its Place.

That Kid's Got An Arm Like Uncle Fester At An Exhibition Of Pre-colombian... Um, Christ, I Lost It. I Was Going For Something Thick. So What's With The Beard, Grizzly Fouts?