I Hate Thin People; 'oh,

Never Floss With A Stranger.

My Best Birth Control Now Is Just To Leave The Lights On.

I Don't Mind Aging, I Just Don't Want To Be A Day Older.

I'm No Cook. When I Want Lemon On Chicken, I Spray It With Pledge.

I Can't Like Watching Project Runway With Heidi Klum. There's Just Something Wrong About A German Woman Saying Who Goes And Who Stays