I Hate Seeing People That

One Of The Most Difficult And Ironic Murder Weapons Is The Life Jacket.

When You're Wearing An Animal Costume And Something Bad Happens, Your Facial Expression Doesn't Change. The Animal Is Deadpan The Whole Time. If You're Skiing In A Gorilla Suit And You Fall, You Just See A Gorilla Who Has No Emotion. It's Just A Stoic Gorilla, Wildly Falling Down A Hill, Out Of Control.

Stand Up Is Really Fun Because If I Think Of A Joke Or A Funny Idea, Then I Can Just Go And Tell Some People And If They Laugh, They Laugh Right Away.

I Was In My Friends Garage, And He Had; A Kite, A Yo-yo, And A Boomerang. I Was Like "dude, You Have Abandonment Issues"

You Are Ten Times More Likely To Get Hit By A Car When The Driver Is Aiming For You.