I Hate Funerals. They Aren't

Ain’t Nothing A Man Can’t Do If He Believes In Himself.

Making Money Isn't The Main Point Of Business. Money Is A By-product.... A New Product Has Been Found, Something Of Use To The World. A New Industry Moves Into An Undeveloped Area. Factories Go Up, Machines Go In And You're In Business. It's Coincidental That People Who've Never Seen A Dime Now Have A Dollar And Barefooted Kids Wear Shoes And Have Their Faces Washed. What's Wrong With An Urge That Gives People Libraries, Hospitals, Baseball Diamonds And Movies On A Saturday Night?

There Never Seems To Be Any Trouble Brewing Around A Bar Until A Woman Puts That High Heel Over The Brass Rail. Don't Ask Me Why, But Somehow Women At Bars Seem To Create Trouble Among Men.

I Hate Funerals. They Aren't For The Guy Who's Dead. They're For The Guys Who Are Left Alive And Enjoy Mourning.

The Only Point In Making Money Is, You Can Tell Some Big Shot Where To Go.