I Had A Ploughman's Lunch

A Policeman Stopped Me And Said: Would You Please Blow Into This Bag, Sir? I Said: What For, Officer? He Said: My Chips Are Too Hot.

A Man Came Round In Hospital After A Serious Accident. He Shouted, "doctor, Doctor, I Can't Feel My Legs!" The Doctor Replied, "i Know You Can't, I Had To Amputate Your Arms"

A Man Walked Into The Doctor's, The Doctor Said 'i Haven't Seen You In A Long Time' The Man Replied, 'i Know I've Been Ill'.

I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten To One. It Came In At Quarter Past Four.

Our Ice Cream Man Was Found Lying On The Floor Of His Van Covered With Hundreds And Thousands. Police Say That He Topped Himself.