I Got An Email From

I've Got A Long History Of Suicid In My Family; The Good News Is It Skips A Generation, So, If I'm Lucky, My Kids Will Kill Themselves.

About A Year After I Moved To Los Angeles, I Decided I Wanted To Be A Joke Writer For A Late Night Talk Show. So I Met With A Late Night Joke Writer And He Told Me That I Should Start By Doing Stand-up Comedy, Because That Would Really Hone My Sense Of Humor And Joke Writing Ability. Eventually I Took A Stand-up Class And A Few Months Later I Had A Seven-minute Act.

When My Girlfriend Cooks Dinner, I'm Happy To Do The Dishes. Because I Make Her Wash Dishes When I Take Her To A Restaurant.

My Girlfriend Is Despicable. I Just Found Out She Flirted With My Brother, During My Mom's Funeral, While I Was Asleep.

I Never Go See Live Comedy Shows Because I Just Sit In The Audience Thinking, "here's What I Would Say. Here's What I Would Do If I Got Up There." It Drives Me Crazy.