I Gave Up Drinking Once

I Always Cry At Weddings, Especially My Own.

(on Bette Davis) Even When I Was Carrying A Gun, She Scared The Be-jesus Out Of Me.

The Only Reason To Make A Million Dollars In This Business Is To Tell Some Fat Producer To Go To Hell.

Things Are Never So Bad They Can't Be Made Worse.

I Should Never Have Switched From Scotch To Martinis.