I Feel So Fortunate To

The Definition Of Adventure Depends Upon How Boring Your Life Is.

Cotton Candy Is The Perfect Snack For When I'm In The Mood To Eat Dry, Scratchy Fabric.

I'm Very Hip-oriented. I Focus On Hips In My Comedy - Probably More Than Any Other Hipster Comic Who Is Out There Hipping Today. My Hips, Other Hips. I Work With My Hips A Great Deal. That Is What I Do. But Not In A Gay Way.

I Think That When You Get Dressed In The Morning, Sometimes You're Really Making A Decision About Your Behavior For The Day. Like If You Put On Flipflops, You're Saying: 'hope I Don't Get Chased Today.' 'be Nice To People In Sneakers.'

There Is A Small, But Important, Difference Between Peeing In The Pool, And Peeing Into The Pool.