I Enjoy Bathing, As Many

There Is A New Survey Out About The Happiest Professions. I Think The Whole Premise Is Flawed. You're Supposed To Find True Happiness Outside Of Work. From Friends, Family, And Youtube Videos Of Old People Falling Down.

By The Power Of Steven Wright's Beard!

I Don't Know Why Some People Get Worked Up About Gay People Marrying. It's Not Gay People Who Are Ruining The Sanctity Of Marriage, It's Celebrities.

You Can Never Talk Religion On Network Tv. It Makes Too Many People Angry. You Can Talk About Sex.

The Whole Idea Of Re-releasing Old Movies Does Bother Me A Little Bit. If They're Going To Re-release An Old Movie, I Should Be Able To Get In With My Old Ticket.