A Junkie Will Steal Your

Don't Protest Outside Of A Rich Man's House In The Daytime, You'll Just Scare The Maid, And That's Arnold Schwarzenegger's Job.

Every Year Law Schools Churn Out Thousands Of Lawyers. We Don't Need Any More Lawyers. We Need More Lawyers Like We Need More Talk-show Hosts.

Now, I Know Obama Was Trying To Take The Long View, But Talking About Solar Energy In The Middle Of The Oil Spill Is Like Watching Your House Engulfed In Flames And Saying, 'we Really Should Change The Curtains.'

Historically, When Americans Don't Know What To Do Next, They Go To Paris. Benjamin Franklin Is Like: 'what Am I Going To Do Now? I'll Go To Paris!'

Stand By Your Bed And Salute Me.