I Dress Normal Because I

I Was Paralyzed With Fear. It Was Unbearable To Be Among Other Kids Who Were Just Standing Around Being Fine. It Was One Of The Many Inconveniences Of This Paradox I Lived With -the More People I Was Surrounded By, The More Frighteningly Alone I Felt.

I Am 39 Years Old, And I Still Wake Up Every Morning Really Excited I Don't Have To Go To School.

You Know, I Think Whatever A Comic Talks About Onstage Is All They Talk About Offstage.

I Think I've Been Called Edgy - But In All Honesty, There Is A Safety In What I Do Because I'm Always The Idiot. Unless You're Just Listening To Buzz Words And Not Taking Into Account The Context Of The Situation, You See I'm Always The Ignoramus.

I Like Trying Jokes And Seeing The Response, And If I End Up Doing It In My Act, It Won't Be 140 Characters. Twitter Is Helpful That Way To Me. It's Like A Message In A Bottle. But A Lot Of Times I Think I Tweet The Stuff I Would Like To Say To Teenage Me.