I Don't Watch Myself Gener­ally.

Somewhere In The World Is...the World's Worst Doctor And He Could Be Yours.

I Knew I Could Only Play Cyrano If He Were Americanized. I Had No Intention Of Writing The Script Myself. I Was Afraid Of It. You're Playing With Fire When You Tamper With A Classic. So I Went Looking For A Writer. But It Was Such A Personal Idea, And Anyone I Would Give It To Would Make It His Own. It's Hard To Ask Neil Simon To Write Your Idea.

I Realized That Comedians Of The Day Were Operating On Jokes And Punch Lines. The Moment You Say The Punch Line, The Audience Either Laughs Sincerely Or They Laugh Automatically Or They Don't Laugh. The Thing That Bothered Me Was That Automatic Laugh. I Said, That's Not Real Laughter.

But Carroll's Were More Convoluted, And They Struck Me As Funny In A New Way: 1) Babies Are Illogical. 2) Nobody Is Despised Who Can Manage A Crocodile. 3) Illogical Persons Are Despised. Therefore, Babies Cannot Manage Crocodiles. And: 1) No Interesting Poems Are Unpopular Among People Of Real Taste. 2) No Modern Poetry Is Free From Affectation. 3) All Of Your Poems Are On The Subject Of Soap Bubbles. 4) No Affected Poetry Is Popular Among People Of Taste. 5) Only A Modern Poem Would Be On The Subject Of Soap Bubbles. Therefore, All Your Poems Are Uninteresting.

The Self-prepared Dinner Is A Great Time Killer For Lonely People And As Much Time Should Be Spent On It As Possible.