I Don't Do Drugs, Though.

Comedians By And Large Are Some Of The Most Sensitive People On Earth. Even If They're Socially Callous.

I Don't Want The Money. I Don't Want The Drama. I Just Want To Do My Show. I Want To Have Fun Again.

Is This The 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?

Most People Don't Know What It's Like To Stand Up There And Speak Their Mind. I Have A Venue To Do That. I Get Paid To Do That. It's Not Like I'm Doing Heavy Lifting Up There. It's Not Like I'm Solving The World's Problems. It's Like I'm Hanging Out With A Bunch Of People And It's Cool.

I Have All These Weird Fantasies. Going Coast-to-coast On My Motorcycle And Having Random Barbecues All Over America. No Show, No Nothing.