I Do Think The Patriotic

Trying To Get Today's Republicans To Accept Basic Facts Is Like Trying To Get Your Dog To Take A Pill. You Have To Feed Them The Truth Wrapped In A Piece Of Baloney, Hold Their Snouts Shut And Stroke Their Throats. And Even Then, Just When You Think They've Swallowed It, They Spit It Out On The Linoleum.

Sarah Palin Has Already Had An Effect On Foreign Relations... The New President Of Pakistan, Ali Zardari, Is In Hot Water, Because Last Week, Sarah Was On A Class Trip To New York, Where She Met Foreign Leaders... And One Of The Leaders She Met Was Zardari, And He Was Gushing Over Her. He Said, Oh, You're More Gorgeous In Person Than You Are On Tv. And So The People In His Home Country Of Pakistan, The Islamists, They Issued A Fatwa On Him, For Being Too 'flirty.' And When Sarah Today Was Told That Zardari Had Gotten A Fatwa Because Of Her, She Said, 'i Know, I Felt It When He Hugged Me.'

White People Have Always Shown Their Superiority Over Blacks With Their Feet, Moving Out Of Black Neighborhoods With The Fear That Their Kids Will Turn Into One Of Them. And Now, Through The Magic Of Mtv, Damned If It Didn't Turn Out That Way!

Why Can't God Just Defeat The Devil And Get Rid Of Evil? It's The Same Reason The Comic Book Character Can't Get Rid Of His Nemesis; Then There's No Story.

Have You Ever Met A War You Didn't Love? I’m Asking, Is There Any Place You Don’t Want To Intervene In?