I Do Realise That When

I Think They Got It Wrong With Saddam Hussein. They Thought He Had The A-bomb. Instead He Had A Bomb.

Remember To Never Answer A Phone During Sex, Even If You Hilariously Answer With 'i Can't Talk Now, I'm Going Into A Tunnel'.

If We're All God's Children, What's So Special About Jesus?

I'm Not Being Condescending, I'm Too Busy Thinking About Far More Important Things You Wouldn't Understand.

The Tragedy For Comedians Is There's Nothing More They Want Than To Be Liked. We Desperately Seek Approval. It's Almost Like A Personality Disorder You Can Do As A Job.