I Dish The Dirt Out

Column Writing Is Like Gas - It Fills The Available Space.

Like Every Big Organisation These Days, The Bbc Is Obsessed With The Wellbeing Of Those Who Set Foot On Its Premises. Studios Must Display Warning Notices If There Is Real Glass On The Set, And The Other Day I Was Presented With A Booklet Explaining How To Use A Door. I Am Not Kidding.

Ooh Good I've Got Syphilis, The Best Of The Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

She Can Take A Year To Read Something, Whereas I Like A Book That Becomes More Important In My Life That Life Itself. When I Was In The Middle Of 'red Storm Rising' By Tom Clancy - Which Was Not Selected For The Man Booker Shortlist - You Could Have Taken My Liver Out And Fed It To The Dog. And I Wouldn't Have Noticed.

Mix An Anorexic Body With A Heart Made Of Pure Fire And You Are Going To Go With A Savagery That's Hard To Explain.