I Didn't Need The Elf

I Was Never A Certified Public Accountant. I Just Had A Degree In Accounting. It Would Require Passing A Test, Which I Would Not Have Been Able To Do.

But I Really Believe That If You Have The Ability, There Is An Obligation To Make People Laugh

Well I Was Much Too Practical To Presume To Have A Career In Comedy.

One Of The First Things That You Learn As A Stand-up Is, You're The Boss. It's Your Stage, And Don't Screw With Me Because I'll Make You Look Bad, Which I Had To Do, Because You Wind Up With Drunks And Loud People.

I Really Don't Know What Makes A Comedian. I Think It's A Family Background And Environment. Yet If You Put The Same Ingredients In Another Person, He May Never Utter A Funny Line.