I Didn't Say No Because

I Hated The Summer Jobs I Had When I Was A Teenager. They Were So Mundane And Repetitious, They Deadened My Soul. On The Bright Side, It Was Good Training For This Job.

Cannabis Always Made Me Paranoid; I Felt Like People Were Watching Me. And Now I'm Sober, And I've Got This Talk Show In The Middle Of The Night On Cbs, And I Now Know That No One Is Watching Me.

Remember The Band, Flock Of Seagulls? They Had Their Van Stolen. I Was Like, They Still Have A Van?

Being An American Is Something I Wanted To Be For A Very Long Time, Probably Since I Saw The Moon Landing When I Was A Child.

From This Moment On I'd Dedicate My Life To Rock And Roll And Take As Many Drugs As Possible. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?