I Detest Acting Because It

I Have Been Tight As A Tick! Fried As A Mink! Stiff As A Goat!

My Father Warned Me About Men And Booze But He Never Said Anything About Women And Cocaine.

[on Being Asked In Her Later Years If She Were Tallulah:] I'm What's Left Of Her, Dahling.

All My Life I've Been Terrible At Remembering People's Names. I Once Introduced A Friend Of Mine As Martini. Her Name Was Actually Olive.

I've Had A Man And I've Had A Woman, And There's Got To Be Something Better.